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Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.”19 The Lord God had formed all the wild animals and all the birds out of the ground. Then he brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called each creature became its name. 20 So the man named all the domestic animals, all the birds, and all the wild animals.But the man found no helper who was right for him. 21 So the Lord God caused him to fall into a deep sleep. While the man was sleeping, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 Then the Lord God formed a woman from the rib that he had taken from the man. He brought her to the man
GENESIS 2:18-21

By OZIOMA PHENSON

Every good thing on earth is a product of process, A process is a series of actions which are carried out in order to achieve a particular result. Process turns raw and ugly materials to most desired and appreciated product. Earth as a whole is undergoing a continuous phases of processing and value are being added every second to the earth.It is so unfortunate to know that many move into marriage without understanding what it means, who should marry who? While so many chooses their partners accidentally and live with regret throughout their live because marriage demands your totality.“Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone,I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.I give ye my Spirit, ’til our Life shall be Done.” ― Diana Gabaldon, Outlander.Processing a Successful Marital Destiny is an act of planning the marital life you want to have, the best suitable partner to realize it, and knowing what to do as your role to achieve it. Let start by knowing what a marriage is!Literally we will define marriage according to Introduction to Sociology – 1st Canadian Edition by William Little and Ron McGivern, as a legally recognized social contract between two people, traditionally based on a sexual relationship and implying a permanence of the union. Biblically let us attempt to define marriage.

Meaning of Marriage:

1) MARRIAGE IS THE STATE IN WHICH MAN AND WOMAN CAN LIVE TOGETHER IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE APPROVAL OF THEIR SOCIAL GROUP.2) MARRIAGE IN A CLEAR TERM IS AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN TWO OPPOSITE SEX OF LIKE MENTALITY WILLING TO SURRENDER THEIR INDIVIDUAL, MATERIAL AND IN-MATERIAL POSSESSIONS TO EACH OTHER OR JOINING TOGETHER AS ONE TO BE BETTER THAN BEING ALONE.
ECL. 4:93) MARRIAGE IN ANOTHER WAY, IS THE COMING TOGETHER OF TWO COMPARABLE OPPOSITE SEX WITH A VIEW OF HELPING EACH OTHER TO FULFILL THEIR LIVES AND GOD GIVEN VISION (PURPOSE) AS ONE.
GEN. 2:124) THE ACT OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IS THE ACT OF TWO OPPOSITE SEX BRINGING GOD INTO AN AGREEMENT TO STAY TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE TO DEFEND AND SECURE EACH OTHER ACCORDING TO THE WORD OF GOD IN ORDER TO PLEASE AND SERVE GOD BETTER.
ECCL. 4:9-12, 1 COR. 7:2-9These few definitions must have deepen your understanding on our subject and arouse your desire for more, though marriage can not be fully define as it has so many dimensions from an individual point of view yet the author’s manual the bible is a basic and solid foundation to draw inspirations from the author’s point of view to underline what He founded to be marriage. Being convince at this point that you must have understand what marriage is, then who is a man or woman that must marry?

Who is a Man?

And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land.(Isaiah 32:2).“No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn’t in submission to God!”
― T D JakesMan was created in the likeness of God as to the perfection of his nature, in knowledge ( Colossians 3:10 ), righteousness, and holiness ( Ephesians 4:24 ), and as having dominion over all the inferior creatures ( Genesis 1:28 ). He had in his original state God’s law written on his heart, and had power to obey it, and yet was capable of disobeying, being left to the freedom of his own will. He was created with ability to love and be loved, and God specially brought out of him a woman that is comparable to him as a help meet and completion of his totality. There is a vast different between a man and a husband.A biblically-based husband is a leader with the capacity to influence his family. Husbands are not dictators, they should not demand, they should not rule over their wives. Instead, husbands should influence their wives and families in accordance with biblical teaching. They should exemplify, with their voice and their actions, attributes that bring glory to God and value to their spouse and family. The fruit of a good biblically-based husband is a strong, confident, spiritually mature wife and family. Husband is a man that is prepared and ready to wholly dedicate his life to his wife and willing to laid it as Christ for his family and be accountable to his creator. Not all men are ready to become husbands, yet most of them force themselves into marriage and see it as a bondage. Three bible verses stands as a pillar to justify a man that is ready to be a husband.”Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).

Who is a Woman?

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.(Proverbs 31: 10-12)
The first Biblical reference to a wife is found Genesis 2:21-25 when God made a woman from Adam’s rib. Here the concept of a one flesh relationship in marriage is established.The Hebrew word for wife is “ish-shaw,” which is the feminine form of “ish,” which means husband. Conceptually, as the woman was an extension from the man, the word for wife is also an extension of the word for man. Likewise, the English word woman denotes a man with a womb. In the Greek, the word for wife is “gyne,” which is from the root “ginomai.” This is the same root as the word gynecology, which is the study of a woman or female.It is clear from these words that a wife is a woman but not all woman is ready to be a wife. The bible says he that find a wife not a woman, finds good thing. A wife is a woman that is processed and ready to give herself and her resources to the husband to complete him as a man thereby fulfilling their life to God’s glory. Proverbs 31:10-31 stands as a good justify for those that want to choose a wife.

What is Courtship?

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?(Luke 14:28 Berean Study Bible)Courtship according to Wikipedia is the period of development towards an intimate relationship wherein a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement, followed by a marriage. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Before we define courtship according to our faith as believers let understand classes of courtship practice in our churches today.

Meaningless Courtship?

There is a way which seems to be right with men, but the ends of it reach to the depths of hell
(Proverbs 14:12 Brenton Septuagint Translation)1) WRONG COURTSHIP: A courtship is wrong if it is unscriptural (against the scripture). A courtship is against the scripture if it is courtship with an unbeliever.
Kinds of wrong courtship
a) Courting Muslim or unsaved Christian- Job 23: 10-13.
b) Courting a divorcee- Mal. 2: 14-16.
c) Courting a married person ( man or woman)- Matt. 19: 5-6.2) HIDDEN COURTSHIP: This is a secret courtship that is not known to your pastor, parent and family members. This kind of courtship is laid upon the foundation of lies.
1 John 1: 5.3) VISIONLESS COURTSHIP: This is a courtship that starts without a purpose or vision with the people involved not even thinking of marriage in the next few years. Courtship should be focused and purposeful.
Prov. 29: 18.4) CARRY-OVER COURTSHIP: This is a courtship between two Christians who have been going out before accepting Christ and continue with it after their conversion without consulting God.
COL. 3: 9-10, ISA. 43: 18-19.5) CLOSED COURTSHIP: This is a courtship whereby both parties don’t really know each other. They are not exposing their lives to each other.
PROVERB 18: 1. (HCSB)6) OPEN COURTSHIP: This is the kind of relationship whereby the involved partners are not hiding anything from themselves. They are open to one another talking an exposing their past live or activities.7) BONDAGE COURTSHIP: This kind of courtship where one of the involved parties is in total charge without giving the other partner a breathing space.
AMOS 3: 4-5.{HCSB}8) TROUBLESOME COURTSHIP: This kind of courtship always experience open brawl, strife, malice, etc. both parties see themselves as opponents and not companion.9) DIRTY COURTSHIP: this is a courtship that is filled with filthiness. The parties (partners) are filled with promiscuity, kissing, romance, and all sort of sexual immoralities.
1 Corinthians 5: 11.10) ACIDIC COURTSHIP: This is the kind of courtship that is spiritually an emotionally drying the partners due to what is happening in it. The prayer life of many are dead because of their relationship.
1 Corinthians 6: 15-16.

Meaningful Courtship?

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
(Isaiah 30:21 New International Version)1) VISIONARY COURTSHIP:
Partners have plans as to what to do, how to do the marriage and when to do it.
JERE. 29: 11, PROV. 19: 212) GOD FEARING COURTSHIP:
This is courtship void of immorality and filthiness. The partners are glorifying God, who is proud of them and is ready to be involved in their lives and future.
Heb. 12: 15-17, 2 Tim 2: 21-22, 1 Cor 6: 17-20.3) MARRIAGEABLE COURTSHIP:
For a courtship to be marriagable, it must be pure, open, enjoyable and purposeful.
HEB. 12: 1-3.RIGHT TIME FOR COURTSHIP:
COURTSHIP IS A TIME TO STUDIOUSLY EVALUATE THE CHARACTER OF THE ONE YOU ARE CONSIDERING AND TO ANALYZE IF YOUR PERSONALITIES AND LIFE GOALS ARE COMPATIBLE.

Right Time For Courtship?

For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth(Ecclesiastes 3:1 NET Bible)COURTSHIP IS A TIME TO STUDIOUSLY EVALUATE THE CHARACTER OF THE ONE YOU ARE CONSIDERING AND TO ANALYZE IF YOUR PERSONALITIES AND LIFE GOALS ARE COMPATIBLE.THE PERSON YOU MARRY AFFECTS:
a) YOUR EMOTIONS.
b) YOUR USEFULNESS IN LIFE.
c) YOUR SALVATION.These are what you should evaluate during courtship before you yes, for your YES is YOUR ETERNAL SIGNATURE.1) SPIRITUAL MATURITY:
Totally born again, committed to God’s word and service with a steady and steadfast prayer life with fasting periodically and filled with the Holy Spirit.2) EMOTIONAL MATURITY:
Having a good control over your emotions, knowing how to handle failures and success. How to forgive, how to love and submit.3) PSYCHOLOGICAL MATURITY:
Being able to study people’s mind and understand how to manage people, how to influence their behaviour and action positively.4) PHYSICAL MATURITY:
Marriage has responsibilities which we use our physical body to fulfill such as sex, child bearing and many more. Physical maturity does not include teenager.5) ACADEMICALLY FULFILLED:
You must be both academically developed to meet the speedy changing society occasion by the wild spread of knowledge.6) FINANCIALLY PREPARED:
Both parties are to vote bills of their personal expenses and be able to financially sustain their family when eventually married.In conclusion, it worth knowing that good marriages or homes are product of careful PROCESSES and anyone who so desire for such can effectively plan and process his or her way to a blissful home.

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